This week is valentine's day, also known to many as “single awareness day”.Because on February 14th so many individuals realize just how single they really are. Now let's get this straight, there is nothing wrong with being single. In fact, the single season is the freest season ever; you don't have to worry about anyone else, you get to work on yourself. However, several single people spend their single-season feeling lonely and incomplete; but what if I told you that loneliness is a state of mind. Being content is a choice!
It's so easy to daydream about being in a relationship, take it from me I have been single my whole life. Although I'm still young several people around me are in relationships; and Its very easy to think,”God when is it going to be my turn”?Instead Of “Let me take the time to better myself”.God has revealed to me that if I'm not happy single, then I won't be happy in a relationship. You were not created with a significant other attached to your hip, in fact, you were created as an individual. So why is it so hard for people in our generation to find contentment in singleness? Simple because many are lacking intimacy with God. My most content moments are with God! He is our portion and in him, we find our purpose. Trust me the more that we press into God, the more we will find ourselves and lose the feeling of loneliness, discontentment, and inadequacy. Our society revolves around #relationship goals, and not many are not excited about this season of waiting, But its the best season ever.
Discontentment is a deep hole, and sometimes it's too easy to fall into. It requires a lot of attention and self-awareness, not many people truly realize how discontent they are. If you were single for life would you be happy, or would you feel like you're missing out? Have you made Jesus your portion? Is having a relationship an idol for you, or just a simple desire? If you’ve answered yes to any of the following, then you may be battling discontentment.
The root of discontentment
At the root of discontentment, is idolization; Because if God was put at the center, then discontentment wouldn't occur. If I make God the ruler of all my situations, then I won't have to worry about what's next. Creating an idol out of something isn't always evident; however, if you spend more time thinking about a situation, than praying about it that's a sure sign. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, but when it surpasses your hunger for God, then "Houston we have a problem". I had a season when I wanted nothing more than a relationship, and I remember the Holy Spirit speaking to me and saying “if you never got married would you still be happy, am I not enough for you?”Up until that point, I hadn't realized how much I had idolized being in a relationship. I hadn't realized how I was placing my joy in something other than God.
The devil isn't omnipresent, meaning that he's not capable of being everywhere at once like our God is. As a result, he comes up with tactics to keep people oppressed; because he recognizes that if he can trap people in a lie, then he won't always have to be present for people to feel discouraged. Remember Adam and Eve? They did not sin until the enemy was present; before he came onto the scene they were fearlessly living for God. However after their encounter with the enemy, they formed their identity according to the lie that he had sold them, they completely abandoned their God-given identity. How does this tie into singleness you may ask? The world has made singleness synonymous with loneliness, inadequacy, and unfulfillment. Many single people have aligned their view of singleness with the enemies lie. As a result, several singles have been trapped in that lie and have wasted their singleness. They have accepted “discontentment” as their label. However, if you find your identity in Christ then you'll never feel inadequate, regardless of the season that you're in, you will always feel empowered. Adam and Eve were content in the garden, they were satisfied with God's instruction and his rules. However when the enemy showed up, they allowed their contentment to vanish, and they began to hunger for something other than God.
True contentment means praising God regardless of the outcome, and faithfully serving him without wanting anything in return. Your single season isn't a punishment, and its definitely not a disadvantage. Because you are better off pursuing Godly singleness, then being in an ungodly relationship. In order to have a well rounded, healthy, godly relationship you have to have a strong relationship with God. In this season build a prayerful foundation. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Says that “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor”.However, if you abandon this season of singleness, what can you offer to your future relationship? If you aren't being productive in this season then how can you be productive in a relationship? Realize that relationships are work, and there are always issues that have to be tackled. The idea that a relationship will bring about contentment is not true. Honestly, if you can't be happy now when it's just you and God, adding someone else to the mix won't help. Especially because God is all that you need to function, nothing or no one else can take his place in your life. The day that you do find that special person, they won't be all that you need, just a bonus to the great life that God has given you.
The enemy thrives on isolation because he knows that if you feel alone, then you will be too discouraged to be productive. When you feel like your missing a piece of your life, then you will spend this season waiting for someone to rescue you. The enemy knows how vital this season is, because if he can disturb your single season, then he can disturb your future relationship. And he won't have to be present for the process. Your relationship is just as good as your singleness. If You have a fruitful single season then you will have a fruitful marriage. There's a reason why you weren't created with someone attached to your hip because you are enough for God as you are. Believing that singleness is an inconvenience will ruin your fruitfulness in this season. There are so many things that God wants to teach you in this season, there are so many moments that God wants you to experience this season! Enjoy this season.
How to reach contentment
This right here is the simple part, seek God! The more that you spend time pursuing him and getting to know him, discontentment will flee. The Bible tells us that the Lord is our portion (Lamentations 3:24, Psalms 73:26, Psalms 142:5) therefore you lack nothing. You are whole just as you are. Come what may, God is always in control. I dare you to give him all of your desires and trust him. Put him first and don't put anything above him.
Think of every little thing that you want to accomplish, now is the time to pursue it! The best thing that us single people can do, is work on ourselves!Its time to say no to discontentment, and yes to singleness! In the meantime,
here's a single season to do list:
-Spend time with God
-Cultivate good habits
-Learn/Pursue your calling