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  • Writer's pictureBlessing Finesse

Relationships 101

Updated: Jan 10, 2021

"And without faith, it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."

- Hebrews 11:6

Faith is the currency of heaven, and God operates according to our faith daily.

When it comes to relationships several people would rather settle, than be single. Simply because it's easier to find someone who doesn't exhibit godly qualities than it is to find someone who does. When someone settles, their actions are claiming that God cannot intervene and provide them with something better; however, faith propels us to ask God for the grand things. Let's simply put it this way, we don't need faith to settle; however, it's impossible to please God without faith. Our God is not a God of low standards or giving up, he does the impossible and the unthinkable; he doesn't think inside the box. Whereas settling requires someone to reach below what they desire; which tells us that settling in and of itself isn't godly. Settling in a relationship is the opposite of what God wants for our lives; because he wants us to thrive, not settle.

As Christians we should desire to be with godly people; therefore we should desire godly relationships. The things of God are very luxurious (can I get an amen!), and I'm not talking about a private jet, I mean they are well prepared and priceless! It's easy to look around and be convinced that the Christian standards are too high, but trust me they aren't. They are molded by the word of God. As P31 women we should want a guy that is prayerful, wise, and has a hunger for God! A major perk of being single is being able to pursue God without any limitations or distractions, and a major perk of being in a relationship is serving God with someone alongside you. When your significant other inhibits a godly desire, then serving God will never be an obstacle for you.

I can't imagine being in an ungodly relationship; because my relationship with God shapes EVERYTHING about how I live my life. When you're in an ungodly relationship your spiritual growth WILL be hindered. When you settle you WILL miss out on God's promises.

The Bible tells us that women are called to be helpers in their marriages (Genesis 2:18).

A wife cannot assist a man that has no direction; because then she can't help him. When you think about it, direction comes from God, so without God, there is no direction (Proverbs 3:5).

Therefore, if you entertain an ungodly relationship that results in an ungodly marriage, then your marriage will go in circles. Which will lead to confusion and disorder; and God doesn't like either of those. Many Christian females have bought the lie that godly men simply don't exist, and that all men cheat, lie, steal, etc. But what if I told you that there are men of God who aren't just faithful to God, but to their wives as well. You can find one (a godly man). Countless women have married ungodly men because they believed that God did not have a Christian man for them. But trust me you're better off being single than in a lukewarm relationship. Honestly! It's better to faithfully serve God individually than to be limited in a relationship. And even if you never found a godly guy, your relationship with God would be enough to sustain you (Act 17:28).

So far we've established that...

  • Settling is never a good option.

  • There is no reason to settle because the godly man you desire does exist.

  • Effective singleness is better than being in an ungodly relationship.

Now, what are some signs of an ungodly relationship?

When both of you aren't committed to God.

God has to be the center of the relationship, in the bible, there's a parable that speaks about the desired spiritual foundation (Matthew 7:24-27). You want your relationship to be built on a rock, not sand. Always pray that your spouse will have a personal relationship with God. Although it is great to have someone to worship, pray, and have biblical discussions with; we must be able to thrive in our personal relationship with God even when no one is looking. You don't want to force your man to church or talk him into praying, both people in the relationship must be fully surrendered to God. That means even if your spouse wasn't present, you would still be faithful to God. The days will occur when your spouse will need some encouragement or prayer, and if your relationship with God is codependent then you won't be able to uplift them in the Lord. When your both committed to God, then you won't have to convince him to do anything, he'll live for God because he wants to not because he feels obligated to.

When the relationship is stagnant.

God is a God of increase and growth when his hand is in a situation it never stays the same. Think about Joseph, he did not remain in prison for the rest of his life. In fact, he became a powerful man in the land where he was once enslaved. You can also look at the story of Moses, God used him to minister to the Israelites although he had a speech impediment, and had cultural identity issues. Needless to say, when God is leading things, nothing stays the same. Christians should go into relationships being marriage-minded, having boundaries, and setting goals. Different relationships progress at different paces, however when you're constantly asking God to be the center he will align the details and show you the way. If the relationship seems like it's not going forward then there isn't any focus or vision. If both people in the relationship are seeking truth and working towards a common goal then things will either move forward, or it may be revealed that the relationship needs to end. Either way it is better to be in a relationship that is going somewhere, or not be in a relationship at all.

When the relationship does not exhibit any discipline.

The 12 disciples were called disciples because they had discipline. Discipline to seek God, do what's right, and lead others. Although it may seem so simple, discipline can actually be quite challenging it requires some serious drive. In a Christian relationship, many things require discipline. There will be moments when you have to renounce your flesh because sinful nature will compel you to do what you feel, instead of what is right. But discipline requires you to cast aside your fleshly desires and run to Christ.

Having godly desires will lead you to have a godly relationship. Don't ever settle because God's best for you is out there, and you don't have to worry about a thing. Remember to always keep God first, because without the creator there is no purpose. Therefore a relationship where God isn't the center has no purpose. And you and I both know that your life is bursting with value!



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