Updated: Jan 10
It IS possible to be happily single because happiness is a choice. It's just that simple!
But instead of stopping there, here are some essential practices to help you maintain a happy single life, and a happy life in general.
Seek ye first the kingdom
Matthew 6:33 states the following, “ Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness: and all these things shall be added unto you”. That verse speaks volumes to all walks of life. It doesn't matter what your circumstances look like, seek God’s kingdom first at ALL times. It can be so easy to compare your life to other peoples and feel like your not truly living because you're single. But as long you're seeking God’s kingdom first, you will be just fine. You weren't created to exclusively be in a romantic relationship, you were created to serve God. Your relationship with your father in heaven is the most important relationship that you will ever possess. Seeking his kingdom will lead you straight into purpose, and closer to God. Nothing on earth tops that if you ask me.
Trust God’s timing
Now let's get one thing straight. It is ok to desire a relationship, in fact, it is possible to be happily single and want marriage one day. God places dreams and desires within us so that we can partner with him and have faith in the process. The word says that God is the author and the finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2), it also says that he who has begun a good work in you will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6). God won't leave us hanging! God is way ahead of us, and he has it all figured out. Before we even realized what our desires were, God already knew how he was going to fulfill them. There is nothing that we can do to accelerate God’s plans; we simply can't rush the process, so we might as well enjoy the single season.
Real talk! Being single is very comfortable for me, and I'm just trying to live my best life. I've always been single and I've reached the point where I truly love it. However, that doesn't mean that being content is always easy for me. I definitely have my moments of discontentment, but I've recognized that those feelings aren't from the Lord. Because God’s word tells me that I'm whole just the way that I am; however it's the devil's mission to make me feel like I'm missing out. Life is what you make it, so it doesn't matter what season you're in; contentment should always be a factor. I'm not waiting till I'm boo'ed up to be content, and you shouldn't be either.
Work on yourself
We have to be careful and guard our hearts. Because if we allow ourselves to be desperate, then we will be with someone just because we're lonely, and not because we really want to be in a relationship. And whilst we're talking about loneliness, remember that emotions come and go. So if you find yourself feeling lonely, remember that you're not alone, and having a relationship won't take that feeling away. Maybe for a moment, you'll feel happy and complacent, but the time will come when you'll feel lonely again because instead of fixing the issue you tried to cover it up with a boy. Now this concept is not just unique to relationships. Often times as people we allow ourselves to mask our problems instead of dealing with them upfront. Whilst your single and maintaining contentment, remember that this season is the best season to better yourself! Trust me if you ask the Holy Spirit to help you with the process, he will! The Holy Spirit has definitely shown me my weaknesses, and sis... Let's just say I've been humbled for sure! Of course, as you grow and develop in life you should strive to evolve; however, now is the best time to do it. You ain't got no kids, no husband, like seriously what are you waiting for?! This is the freest time of your life.
Get godly girlfriends
I encourage you to invest in some godly friendships where you can have fruitful conversations and enjoy their company. Some people feel like they have to date around to learn how to develop good relationship skills. However I disagree, I think that it's better to focus on long-term relationships instead of many potential short-term ones. In my friendships I've learned how to be vulnerable, trustworthy, communicate effectively, and be intentional about spending time with people. Of course in a romantic relationship, those dynamics will look a bit different, but those skills will still be necessary. Through my friendships, I've learned what it means to really be valued and held accountable for my actions. My friends have really inspired me to know God more and more, and fellowshipping with them allows me to be the real me. With all that being said, because of my success in my friendships, I won't settle for a relationship that doesn't match my expectations. However if I isolated myself then I would be more susceptible to random flings, once again due to desperation. Bottom line, get yourself some good friends.
I love being single so much, and I've been single since the beginning of my existence. So I've definitely grown from feeling discontent to loving the single life. Relationships are not a requirement for happiness, and singleness is not associated with sadness. However, being happily single doesn't mean that you never want to be in a relationship either; it just means that you're able to thrive without one. Oftentimes people categorize singleness as a negative thing; when in fact it is an amazing season to grow and work on yourself. I honestly don't see anything wrong with being single. Now although being single is AMAZING, it definitely isn't always easy. But! It IS possible to be happily single. Wait on the Lord, get a hobby, spend time with your loved ones, love yourself, travel the world even. Your future self will thank you!